Saturday, August 7, 2021

We Lost Our Little 'Peanut', Our Precious Little Baby, our Little Dachshund. I Miss My Little Dog so Much.

It was all over the neighborhood web loop from here to twenty miles away at least...A little brown Dachshund out on the country road eating roadkill but running as fast as anything when a human would attempt to pick him up.  The weather was cold as ever that pre-Thanksgiving year in 2019.  He was a young little guy and fast.  There were people who wanted this little dog and bad.    

On that Thanksgiving afternoon, a knock at the door and it was my son in love, Pete  my daughter and our little grandbaby plus one.   Our daughter, Joycie was holding the elusive little dachshund!   I couldn't believe my eyes!   They were riding down that country road when my Ellie Mae daughter who takes after me spotted the little guy..."Quick there's a dog, stop!"   My son in love stopped and the elusive little dachsy ran under the barbed wire fence, my son in love instantly put his long arm over that fence and grabbed that little pilgrim and that was that!   

Peanut was his main name, my daughter, Grace named him Slinky.  He was also known by Pilgrim and Max at times...But he was our BABY.   We would always say...Hi Little Baby!   We loved him so much.  He was young and frisky and full of the most wonderful personality you have ever seen.   He could be a meme.  His eyes were sooooo expressive.  He was just precious and loved us and we loved him.

We lost little Peanut last week suddenly.   

I've been extremely broken over this and I just don't even know what to say at this time but I miss my little dog.   ...My little Baby.

 

 

 

Last week one night around ten, I looked around the living room and didn't see our little boy nestled on any of the couches as normal, "Do you have Peanut? to my husband"   "Do you have Peanut? to Grace"  "Where is he?!"   "Where's Peanut?!!!!"   He roots under pillows and blankets so I think each one of us thought he was rooted under pillows and a blanket next to someone elses lap as usual.  We immediately all jumped up looking for our little baby.  He was also called "LITTLE BABY"  He was our LITTLE BABY.   

Jem was riding around on his utility cart with the flashlight with the lights on looking we were calling and calling.   Nothing.

We finally went to bed with a sinking heart...Something was very wrong.   Very, very wrong.  All the other dogs were in the house for the night.  All of them.  Grace and I had dreams of little Peanut baby all night long thinking he was back and then waking up to disappointment.

I went ahead and got out of bed at 5am.  It was dark and I let our large dogs out and flipped the light on eyeing where they went.   Gracie our hound stopped by the side of the  house under the lilac tree and sniffed, I immediately got the flashlight and my heart sank...I see a little blue collar on a beautiful little red dachshund lying there one ear out characteristically as if he were peacefully asleep under the lilac tree...  But he wasn't asleep.

We don't know whether a water moccasin bit him, or if there were internal causes that we were unaware of.  We had had him checked by the vet the week we got him and no heart worms and I treat my dogs for that monthly...So it's a eerie, cruel mystery.  I did see two little marks in his groin area that resembled a snake bite when I lifted him from the ground, a little toy ball near...Oh my heart.  

So.  It's been a rough week or so, my daughter, Joycie had a miscarriage and that was up and down, an emotional roller coaster as well.  How cruel can this all get...  My body finally told me enough was enough.  My face broke out in hives.  That spoke multitudes.

 

My heart is horribly sad, we so miss little Peanut not running up to our car and jumping in and sitting like a little man...Little Pilgrim.  He would jump up with me in our old golf cart to go check on something just like our little man..Little Pilgrim.  I would just put my arm around him and pat him.  His short little legs were so darn cute.....And those loving expressions.  The house is very quiet because he would be the first to alert.  I don't understand how this happened...So many things I don't understand but I know the Father is there.  I suspect as a pastor recently said...When He is quietest, He is there with us.   I'm camping out at Psalms 23.   

When Grace and I walked out to the burial area to place our little marker, Peanut's toys and flowers a beautiful red cardinal was in a tiny tree as we trudged back into the house to get more decorative pebbles...He was waving his little wings around and stayed for the longest, longest time as I stood there with my arm around Grace.   On the way back out to the grave site as we had gathered more little pebbles to outline the grave, a cardinal was in the tree above the grave .......He waved his wings and hopped around and stayed.....For the longest, longest time.  Yes, for a long time that beautiful red cardinal stayed and kept us company.

A white feather appeared on one of Grace's black jackets laying in a basket.  No one knows where it came from....A  huge beautiful owl flew down from a tree one morning last week and landed so close to the window where I was standing with my coffee...He was beautiful, grey rimmed eyes on a white face, and his legs looked white and the feathers looked furry like a cat's legs he was huge...He stood there for a long time, with his a visible small yellow beak ...just looking around and then the huge bird flew off to my amazement.  It was like a storybook.

 

 

Here's a few shots of our little Peanut, I may be adding more, Grace has some beautiful shots of his expressions:

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 This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}   He had gotten the last drop, and I saw this out the window!  Thank God I rescued my little fella right away!

This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}  Peanut and Liesl....We didn't do anything mommy...

Recently taken, he would always come and lay down next to me as I took a rest on the recliner in the afternoons.

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This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}  Gracie our large Black Mouth Curr Hound laying next to the little box where little Peanut lay.   You see....Gracie used to think she was his mommy...She really did, she thought he was her little baby too.

This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}  The little box where little Peanut lay.

This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}  I made this little marker and flower arrangement for his little burial place. 


 
This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}.  Two of his favorite toys of late.  He would pounce up on the couch with the squeaky ball...He would get little stuffed animals and run and squeak the little squeaker shaking it something mighty.

 

It's with a very sad heart that I've written and posted all of this, I hated to do it but wanted to do it because Peanut was so loved.  Just so loved... So, let's just say your prayers are coveted, many of you understand how our fur angels play a major part in our lives.

 

  This contains an image of: {{ pinTitle }}.   It's me, Amelia the little gal who loves animals, always has and always will...Little heartbeats and comforts from the Lord.  This is a drawing I drew in highschool of me with my first little dog, Cutie.

 

 

My daughter, Joycie who is having a tough week of it as well sent me this song.  It ministered to my heart and maybe it will yours too.

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"Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out.  You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day.  You cannot touch love either;  but you feel the sweetness that it pours into everything."    ~Annie Sullivan

  

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17 comments:

Sandi said...

Oh, Amelia. My deepest condolences. I am sorry for your loss.

Your mention of the red cardinal took my breath away. When my Dad passed I would see a red cardinal sometimes and it made me think of him. It was like a reminder that God is good.

Bless you and your family.

Sandi

Dana said...

Amelia,
Praying for your family and Joycie as she recovers. A hard week for you.

Animals are God's gift to us and it hurts so much when He takes them! I can empathize as we lost our dear dog of 16 years a few years ago. I love how God has comforted you through the amazing birds you have seen recently. An owl!!! I have never seen one in the wild. I always love your posts even when they are sad -- you point us to our Savior.

He loves you so much.
~ dana

Patti said...

Oh, Amelia, I am so sorry about the loss of your precious Peanut. I do indeed know how our fur babies burrow their way into our hearts. We lost our 15-year old beagle 8 years ago, and we STILL miss her. And with our Ginger dog close to being 13, we are sadly aware that our time with her is fleeting. We dread the day we say our goodbye to her. So, please know, I do indeed know how your hurt is hurting right now. And also hurting about your daughter's miscarriage. I am praying for you right now, that the Lord's presence would comfort you. And may your memories of sweet Peanut bring smiles in the midst of the sorrow.

Love,
Patti

Barbara said...

Dear Amelia, I am so sorry for your loss of precious Gracie. She was indeed a dear little animal, a gift from our Lord and so dearly loved.

I am sorry, too, for Joycie's miscarriage. It has indeed been a tough time in your family. May you feel the Lord's comfort today and every day.

Barbara said...

P.S. The song is lovely. Don't try to swallow the ocean all at one time.... good counsel for those of us in a season of grief. Love you you.

Amelia said...

Sandi, Thank you so much friend. Yes. Yes. Yes, those cardinals are messengers from the Lord. I saw one in the middle of the driveway we were walking down several days before my dad died, he was waving his wings around and hopping around as if to get my attention...So much that we stopped and watched him in front of us. I think God has special signs He gives, we may not fully understand it all but one day we will. The morning after Joycie got married just a few months after my dad passed away, a beautiful red cardinal and a bright yellow warbler type bird were in the window looking in singing as loud as anything, I heard it in the next room. They did not scare off when I came to the window. Yes, it takes our breath away, (beautifully said Sandi) and I think God has some awesome and miraculous signs He gives us that may be overlooked by many.

Bless you Sandi.

Amelia said...

Dear Dana, Oh that must have been so hard, yes, when we have them for so long...Oh they are truly members of our family aren't they?

I was awestruck with the owl, I just stood there in my robe gawking wide-eyed trying to savor every detail about this sweet bird that actually looked like a giant stuffed animal, the face was so very sweet even. God is so miraculous to send us special signs from above. God's messengers are everywhere aren't they?

Your words that God loves me so much are so meaningful Dana, thank you so much. Oh how He loves you and me.

Thank you for your encouragement Dana, It means the world, Love, Amelia

Amelia said...

Dear Patti, Yes, I remember you writing about our fur angels and how the time ticks with each one of them here on God's green earth...Oh so painfully true. It's a good reminder for us to live the Life and take the time to notice, to live, to love and to play with our fur angels.

I knew you would understand how it feels and the emptiness. I can certainly understand you still missing your little Beagle. Actually, the little puppy on my lap in my drawing was a little Beagle.

God is near the brokenhearted and so many things we don't understand and I've even shared that I don't understand with God just this week, He is compassionate and knows our hearts.

Thank you Patti for your prayers and for our daughter as well, I know she will be so grateful. Her husband preached his first sermon today at a church he will be pastor of. I am blessed.

God bless you Patti, love, Amelia

Amelia said...

Aw dear Barbara, To say this has been a difficult and hard year for you is an understatement and it is so, so kind of you to come and send your love and care.

I know you truly get how we feel when we lose loved ones and our fur children as well.

Praying for you dear friend, thanks again, Peanut was a little cutie pie and just a little ball of affection to us. He loved his cuddles and loved to chase his treats and toys... Thank you for your prayers for our daughter as well, it's been a real up and down. She and her husband love the Lord so that helps very much but it's difficult as you know.

That song really hits the spot doesn't it? There is another one too by the same artist Joycie sent me yesterday on being or feeling alone. 'How Emptiness Sings' by Christa Wells.

Praying for you and I appreciate so much you taking the time to come to my blog and offer comfort so very much, you are appreciated, Love, Amelia

Linda said...

Dear Amelia, I'm so sorry to read this :( It's just the saddest thing to lose a little furry friend also sad about your daughters miscarriage, what a rough time :( Please know your in my prayers I know you know the Lord is close to the broken hearted ~and He is xox ~ Linda

Amelia said...

Dear Linda, It's so kind of you to come and offer such sweet understanding and reminders of our Lord's love and care for us....Yes, dear friend. He is truly close to the broken hearted. How well we know right? I know you too are experiencing the loss of your dear dad, I think of you from time to time because I know how it is. Thank you for being such a sweet friend here, your heart is a kind and caring one. Hugs to you, love, Amelia

Marianna said...

I’m so very sorry abt the loss of sweet Peanut/Slinky. He was so special and truly beautiful. Y’all gave him a wonderful life and home there in the forest and that is comforting to me that he did not die on the side of the road but rather loved and well-fed. ❤️ But it is so sad and so hard when you don’t know what happened... it is a cruel mystery. I think abt my lost cat every day and wonder what happened to him. It sounds like the Lord is comforting you in beautiful and special ways; I pray for more of that! I do love that song — one day at a time... so true. ❤️ It is sad, but beautifully chronicled. Thanks for sharing. 💗

Amelia said...

Thank you Marianna, That is sooo sweet for you to come and take the time to comment here. I pray many a day that your kitty will come back to his original and true home. The Lord has been good to send His special comforts my way indeed, and even little answered prayers, just special little and big Gifts. The song is so fitting, and hits the spot as does her other songs too. xxoo

Sherry said...

oh my goodness...

i'm so very sorry for your loss.
our fur babies are precious to our hearts and lives - my own heart continues to grieve for my sweet evelyn. who rescued who, i ask? i'm praying...

prayer heavenward also for your dear daughter.
i also know of this type grief ..
bless her heart Lord.

gentle hugs. wish i were close enough to deliver a meal to your family.

Amelia said...

Sherry, Oh I can tell you loved Evelyn dearly, I understand and can tell you too understand...It's so true isn't it? Who rescued who? I still have the medication doses on my wipeboard that I refuse to wipe away after our little Guiseppe passed away.

Thank you for your most loving care to our family, it means the world and I appreciate it so very much, I can feel the care.

What a genuine gem you are, I appreciate your sweet note here so, so,very much, more than you will know.

Terra said...

What a darling kind face Peanut had and what a shock for you to find your pup that way. I adopted my pup the day before Thanksgiving and thought of calling him Pilgrim, so that is a special nickname to me. What sad times for your family, and for your daughter. I am praying for comfort for you.

Amelia said...

Thank you Terra, You are so sweet to take the time to comment here and offer comfort in the way you have. I'm so happy that you caught on to Peanut's sweet little face, that makes me smile. We must be kindred spirits to both like the little nickname of 'Pilgrim', I think it's so cute for a little doggy!

Thank you for your prayers and care, Peanut is missed. What kind of a pup did you adopt? That is wonderful that you adopted.

Thank you once again, my daughter is doing okay now but I'm sure it's a dark cloud even at this point, of course, so your prayers are always coveted and appreciated.