Friday, May 26, 2017

Thanks for Reading and Praying Friends.

Hello blogging friends, just touching bases.  Thank you for the thoughts and prayers, I need, needed them more then ever.

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I was able to visit my father last week (see last entry) and able to run my fingers through his hair...He wasn't recognizing me.  I kept telling him, It's okay Daddy, it's okay.  I just felt he needed to hear that in his soul.  I told him I love you Daddy,  and I think he was starting to recognize me and he said...I love you too babe.

It was tough.  Real tough.  There are times I feel as I could faint and this was one of them.  I'm reading this blog writing and it sounds a little cold and I am so sorry about that, I'm just a bit confounded on how to word my feelings and it's showing up here.

This all is one of those things you think of in life and know it may happen one day, but this thing is bad, a bad gig as my youngest artist-photographer daughter would call it. ...A bad gig.  My father has been stolen from me and he made bad choices.  But God is bigger. God knows all about it. The nurses on staff knew the full picture and were sympathetic as well. I'm sure they felt very helpless as the perpetrator has medical power of attorney.  It's unbelievable and horrible.

A Gift:  I was so thankful my son in law, Josh was there in the hospital room with me along with Jem of course, Lea, our oldest too along with our Michelle.  At one point I just buried my face in Josh's huge Welsh chest and cried as he had held his arms out for me after watching me with my dad.  He gets me and I get him.  I laugh, I tell him he's my real son, he arrived late. : )  We both are infp personalities.   Jem. My Jem was almost humorous he is so very angry at this situation that did not have to be.  He hates what it has done to us all. 

Please pray over this situation.  I feel God is saying to me to be quiet on it even at home, not to talk about it too much at all. Trust me, there could be a lot to talk about!   I am to let Him do His work, He has ways of doing it up good especially in justice situations.  ...And trust me it truly is a justice situation, as the system does not work.  It's unbelievable what people think they can get away with and do many times.  I will try to write more when God releases me to do so.  And we know, those of us who know God, know that those who look like they are getting away with evil are not.  No, not at all.  God watches from afar (and up-close!)   God is there watching!

I've struggled with anxiety for many years, it's a good thing that I do have a living relationship with God let me tell you.  I would like to share this wonderful book that has some very good biblical reminders and  rules along with true stories:

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. (1948)   This is one of those books many people read over and over again. Very, very, very  helpful!  Mr. Carnegie writes in such a gentlemanly way and such a matter of fact way so typical of the 40s. He covers our enemies, ingratitude etc. This book hits home. Timeless.

More Gifts:  I saw a prayer buddy of mine at the grocery store, she works there, a manager who is normally very busy.  The day after my visit to see my dad, she was standing their with nothing to do.  Normally she is so busy I hate to even ask her how she is.  We were able to really talk as I told her the situation and to please pray.  Hugs were given right in that grocery store.

And more Gifts:  We saw the mommy cows and their baby calves in the fields and they are so happy.  The calves frolic through the green grass under the oak trees, they look up and kiss their mommies.  If God takes care of these sweet free creatures will He not take care of me?

Another Gift: I was able to sew a little bit.  I made a navy lawn cotton (super lightweight) maxi skirt with a yoke.  It will go with some woven one yard tops I want to make.  It's therapy I tell you. : )

Something that made me smile: I saw a little spider scurrying across my bathroom floor so frightened, and I felt God smiling and saying, That is how you are too at times Dear One.

There was also someone Jem and I talked to that gave Peace and made us feel protected.  It was God watching over us in in a very major way. 

I'll close with some songs that I enjoy that you may enjoy too!  Sara Groves has some very unique and meaningful songs if you would like to look her up on youtube.  I've seen her and talked to her in person more than once and she is one of those true-blue ones.  She was very kind, the second time I saw her after a concert she says to me and our four girls, I remember you!

Have a sweet afternoon and evening, loves,    Amelia in the Forest.  God is watching over us.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Prayers Requested!

Prayers are being requested.

I'm suffering from the flu, my father is dying according to nurses.  He is around four hours away in a hospital so you can imagine what I am going through at present.  Our two oldest daughters made the trek to see him yesterday and he wasn't doing well.

When they arrived they told him they didn't know...they didn't know he was there...

No one from our immediate family did.  A concerned wife of a distant cousin (an old running buddy of my dad's) happened to see Lea's number on Daddy's wall at his house after some investigating, she took courage and did the right thing and called Lea.  That is how we found out.

My father crossed paths more then several years ago with a woman who has wrecked things.  She has manipulated things to an unbelievable point turning my father's heart against us at a point, and now not even calling our family to let us know.

Be careful who your elderly parents make friends with.  My dad's giving and romantic but needy heart has gotten him in huge trouble not to mention ripping our emotions apart.

My only child heart has been so broken, I had such plans for Daddy and I in his old age.  Such plans.

Daddy, I wanted to take you to the old Methodist in downtown where you and Mother were married back then... I wanted you to be able to relax here in the Forest with Mother.  You could have held our dogs, you too love dogs and cats and all things.  Why on God's green earth did this all  have to happen I do not know or understand the choices.  I cried out the other day with my daughter in the kitchen just crying out saying.  Why.  

Yesterday our girls helped him get water from sponges there in that far away hospital room, he would cry out for a cup of water repeatedly.  They said the Our Father together as well as Psalm 23.  Lea and Marianna asked him if he knew the Lord and he said he had prayed with a radio preacher.  My dad still has a radio hooked up to his bathroom light so that when you turn the light on, the old time radio preacher comes on. 

I am a highly sensitive person, what the books call, an HSP.  If you know anything about highly sensitive people you may know this is a gift but in this case perhaps a curse.

I will end with good things, Roman 8:28.  My husband is a huge help, my girls have helped hugely with supper and things putting their gifts to work.  My two son in laws (one of those is soon to be), he has been checking in with Mar, sending roses thru Mar to me. The other is of my personality and would like to call the offending woman and enlighten her a bit on what she has done to our family.  My sweet mother, the wife of my father's youth is so proud of our girls on handling things so beautifully, she was so glad they told Daddy that (she) Lena loved him.  The two of them are in the top photo taken shortly after they were married.

There are other good things too that I don't have liberty to share.

Please pray I get well for one so I can begin to do what I need to do in this situation.  I feel like my nerves are shot, frayed and all the rest along with the flu. 

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Pray for my dad I don't like the suffering I am hearing about.  Not one bit.  It's breaking my heart and it didn't have to happen like this.