Thursday, July 31, 2014

Kindness versus Control and a Big-Bag for you to Make

Do you ever wonder what happened to kindness?  Wouldn't it be so nice if women and men too would be kind to one another?  A place where women would accept others for who they are instead of running through a series of sizing-up?   A sweet place of please come have coffee, my house is a wreck...I'm a creative mess like my daddy but you won't care right?   And that person really doesn't care?  Or how about...I can help you with this or that, no strings attached!  No control involved! If you don't use my 'recommend' that is quite alright, I'm just glad to help!  Or a place where Hey, the more the merrier!  Or how about the other party responding to a decline...Oh, you need quiet time, no problem, I'm an infp (highly sensitive easily tired-out) personality (maybe they are not) but they still say...No biggy, I totally understand!   Let me know when ya get the druthers. : )...   You get the big picture right?  

Jesus said:  Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love the neighbour as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.   Matthew 22:37-40

I have to say my mom is really good on this, she is a very neat person in her housekeeping even at 84 years of age, and yes, still a sweet pretty girl.  She is a trained artist and even her artwork style from the late 40s when she was a glamor girl in the city art school all the way from a little town has neat and clean lines, perfectly proportioned...My mom accepts that I'm more like my daddy.  My dad, an artist also, ...and a bit sloppy, but he can write a good ol' salty editorial and has spoken publically more then several times plus being on city council in younger years... You would never catch my mom writing an article or speaking publicly.  We are all different right?  To make a long story short?  My mom can come over and my home may be hideous on a certain day.  She doesn't care!  ...and I know she doesn't care!  She loves me unconditionally!   

One day when Becs was a newborn here in the country, a sweet fellow mommy from Germany who came to visit said boldly when I apologized for my home not being neat... 

She looked at me straight-faced and looked into my eyes saying
...I think people here (America) are too much like that...
Wow.  Was she correct!   I always remember her like it was yesterday saying that and we still see she and her Italian husband on certain days!

You may ask:  But what do you do to stay afloat?  First things first.  

Supper needs to be done.  First things first!  Hubs tshirts need to be washed and dried. (that may not mean being put up that day either!)  But they were clean! First things first!  The rest can wait.  In homeschooling?  I often had to put my blinders on to dishes in the sink, My children's schooling came first!  First things first!  : )   I try to enlist to help me when possible.  She does.  So in my book?  A loving happy home, a hot supper for our family to eat together, cozy and clean tshirts for hubs not to mention clean toilets... That's a simple recipe for this girl!  First things first!  And don't forget creative time too!  Even if it's just ten minutes!  So ultimately?  Perfectionism is out the door! 

This article by Ann Voskamp really hit some heart strings with me...Oh how needed today!

How Women Can Stop Judging Each Other:  A Movement of Key Women 
loading ... 
I know the above women, do you?  They read others' emails over the phone to each other...They have secret unspoken groups where others are forbidden.  Oftentimes...Sadly....Their daughters or sons mirror the same behavior, hurting others far more deeply then they could ever comprehend or ever know.  Now we have the event of the automated public invitations...I have found the same pressure of judgemental- control-issue-behavior even on those!  Some fear disapproval for allowing their 'yes' to be 'yes' and their 'no' to be 'no'.   Gee Willikins!

loading ...

Do you  know these gals?  Often you will see them at various get-togethers or shindigs.  You'll see the victim, perhaps one of our loved ones.. and the snide looks behind the backs... We know, because we ourselves have been the victim.  I remember being so horrified at the remark of an older woman whispering to me once...Look at Nancy's shoes... I remember being in my 20s and consciously not smiling at her remark.  Nancy's sin?  Wearing out of "style" chunky heel shoes.  Nancy was a happy go lucky middle aged woman, comfortable in her own skin and I think that's pretty good.

Yes, many of us have experienced these kinds of women.  Whether relatives or acquaintances we know them.

Ann's article above covers judgment of our homes and I really think it will be an encouragement! : )

Yes, we can feel like this poor gal in the bucket many times...
loading ...

But lets me and you be that Key Woman! If that means standing alone so be it! We'll be blameless and a lot happier me thinks even if we are standing alone!  God knows just how to send other Key Women our way, why it may be someone at the grocery!  It may be a precious angel who needs encouragement...I just ran into a precious, precious older widow at the store who recently lost her son in an accident.   Yes, Lord.  Let me be that Key Woman.   And Lord?  Please let my creative messes minister to others... Let my messiness be a sign of Mercy and Grace to others. 

Let's remember too, those who are so critical of others are many times very miserable people.

Live, Laugh, Love,  ...Pray Hard and SMILE.

Make'm wonder what makes us so darn happy. ; )

Christ is the Key.  We must remember how Jesus was treated and by whom.  (I know y'all know that).   But you have to admit, it's a mighty good reminder, yes indeedie!


I'll close with a neat Big-Bag I made our daughters one Christmas.

Don't ya just love this retro material?   Becs just throws this giant pillowcase size bag over her shoulder and away to the gym she goes!  (Bias tape through two openings in the casings at the top of the bag.)  The two openings help the weight distribute more evenly.

I've been sewing a lot lately, I hope one day to post pics.  Pics are my nemesis it seems...I don't really care for selfies and I hate bugging my family to take the pics...(usually we're all scooting out the door when I wear my creations!)...and don't even get me into loading the dad-blasted things! 

Y'all do take care now... Until the next time...    amelia 

I also hope to just write some remembrances of my youth and childhood in the future. Pics or no pics. : )
Black and White photos are by Robert Stock.


auntie said...

Dear Amelia, what you write about is such a sore topic for some. I used to apologize for my home as well until my wonderful husband taught me a valuable lesson. He prefers me sane, happy, and holy rather than have a neat house. These days my husband, mother and my sewing come first. People won't always be there but the dust will.
Love to read what you write. You would be just the neighbor to have. Help without strings, love without judgment, and friendship without expectations. Love you and the girls. WRite more soon! and do post pics.

Beloved's Redheaded Bride said...

I really cracked up when I saw the picture of the lady with her head in the pail. So funny! I had a day like that today. Spinning my wheels with a big consignment project while little people were making more mess than I could keep up. I just had to let it be...

Cute bag!

Anonymous said...

Who couldn't love you Amelia? You are such a lovely person, and if I lived nearby I would love to visit you no matter if the dishes were done or not😊

Love reading your have a real gift with words


Amelia said...

Thank you Shirley! Your recent encouraging comments are a godly delight and encouragement to my heart! : ) They are like finding little prizes (Gifts) in secret places!