This photo from a few years ago really doesn't resemble her facial look and expression. She had a cute little short nose and we kept her curly poodle hair longer, she looked like a rounded little puppy always. As she grew older her little eyebrows greyed...She looked at me while I was sewing that day before she left us as if she was trying to remember me. Now, I regret not stopping sewing to hold her since she was ill. We had taken her to the vet twice that week, she was scheduled again for the next morning.
I awoke to a very ill little fur angel and she quietly passed to the other side.
I cried hard over the phone to the vet's office that morning,
.... I just don't understand what was wrong...I just don't understand............
At the vet's office earlier that week, the first visit, I sat with our oldest daughter, Lea, me, holding Esther. We had rushed her in, she was not well, I held her in a blanket, she was vomiting, and I tried to comfort her switching to a clean cotton blanket I had brought...A precious lady came up to me who had brought her cat in...She looks at me with a sweet smile and tells me...
...I can tell you really love your animal the way you are holding her and caring for her... I just feel like I need to tell you that.
The lady's cross necklace hung from her neck. Thank God for these Saints of God. I hang on to her kind face and what she said.
I miss our little Esther so. Every morning I would give her her morning treat. Every lunch we would sit together, my little buddy.
Could have I done something differently?
You may know I am a nursing home volunteer. There is a middle aged man there my age. He is a single guy with disabilities due to an accident, he has several computers in his room that he sits at command at. Several years ago, he shared with us that the car accident that left him in the condition he is in..he was left for dead. When he was leaving this earth...The first beings that greeted him on the other side were his three beloved dogs. ...Then he remembered the paramedics bringing him to.
I miss you Little Esther.
Frederick Buechner says a saint is a "a life-giver." He says, "If a saint touches your life, you become alive in a new way." Does that make Lucy a saint? I can't say. I know that every place she walks with me is her favorite place to be - and every ball she fetches, and every cliff she descends...
...the spot on the bed where she rests her head on my lap. She follows me, even when she'd rather not. She knows I'm there to bring the ball back to, and when she's afraid of the step, my voice is enough to rally courage. Her pleasure is her devotion. Her devotion is her praise. That is her gift to me.
-Excerpt from Lessons from Lucy About Loving God by Wendy Murray Zoba
Ask the animals, and they will teach you.
~ Job 12.7
Here also, is a poem I found online:
May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day,
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and so afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you,
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
God be with everyone, Amelia